Blue Things with Pointy Sticks

(This article originally appeared on Facebook. It has been updated with a new postscript.)

Hi, Jon’s wife here. Jon has been asked to upload his army list from the recent Jack of Hearts tournament. Unfortunately he is really busy and he asked me to write up his list for him to cut and paste onto Facebook.

OK, well the army started with 2 units of big monstery things with big pointy sticks. They were painted a rather nice shade of blue but were very expensive, money that could have been better spent on a handbag in my view.

Then there was a unit of knights, although Jon tells me they are not actually knights but something else. You may have seen these on the painting video Jon made when he accidently drilled a hole in his fingers. Which, incidentally reinforced our family view of his DIY capabilities. It is no accident that the other 2 Moonrakers are an electrician and a builder. Game sessions at our house usually start with an hour’s correction of past building disasters.

There was then a smaller unit of flying things with tails. Jon painted them red, he said because it matched my eyes after a night out. I didn’t speak to him for a week.

There was a big unit of creepy crawlies he bought at a supermarket at Halloween. He said that he was worried that people would say that they were toys. I said that all of his army was toys. Jon didn’t speak to me for a week.

There was another big unit of things that looked vaguely man-like but, again, I’m told they aren’t men but something else.

He then had 3 individual models. One had wings and a really stupid name with lots of apostrophes in it.

Another was a man (not a man) mounted on a horse (not a horse) and then another man (not a man) on a horse (not a horse).

I think that’s it. If Jon spent as much time on me as he does with his army, I might have put a bit more effort into writing this.



I have just seen this on line. I shall have my revenge!